Hello again, dear reader.
It has been a while.
I think I am often drawn back here, to my first love, my first blog, when I am figuring things out or just need to feel the comfort of the place where my online writing world began.
Truth be told, this past year has been rough both professionally and personally– not to mention all the other things going on in the world, including my local community.
But that is not what I am here to share today.
In true food blogger fashion, I want to talk about bread… but not in the way you think.
I have taken on the challenge this year to do something I have always wanted to do… learn the ins and outs of breadmaking.
It is something I have always wanted to do.
Over the past 20 years I have probably owned and then donated or gave away no less than 3 bread makers.
It is NOT their fault.
They just weren’t what I really wanted no matter how many times I tried to convince myself that it was the perfect modern solution to my busy life.
I have had a bread bible on my bookshelf probably for over a decade (maybe two…) with this deep desire to just learn how to master the skills involved in mixing the dough from scratch, kneading it out with my hands, shaping it and trying to figure out what it was telling me it needed.
But I was always too busy, building my family business and other mom duties as assigned.
However, from reading, to birdwatching to gardening I have been enjoying the slower sides of life for a while now while juggling the business and life.
But there were always things I wanted to do someday… that I never quite made time for…
Life has a way of slowing you down though… and sometimes the slow things in life come at great comfort during those times.
This past year chronic pain and a sudden hearing loss sat me ALL THE WAY down in a way I had not experienced before.
And, then the tech giants came for both my community and my business.
My baby grew up into an amazing young lady and the motherhood that has defined so much of my life is now transforming into something new.
And many other things occurred that left me with a profound sense of loss, grief and lack of control.
Then, I started crocheting back in October…
Took a different turn there than you expected, eh… I promise this leads back to bread.
Something shifted in me when I started to crochet. It was an incredible way to unwind after a stressful day. And like so many others, I had plenty of stressful days.
There is something soothing about the slow methodical stitches that can only be made by hand.
I can’t fully explain it but it somehow impacts me in a way that other artforms have not. I love everything from painting to mosaics but crocheting is different.
I have crocheted every day since the day I first picked up my hook.
Sometimes I crochet for hours, sometimes for 15 minutes.
But everyday, I find a way to connect to this craft that somehow feels bigger and older than the giants I face.
Which leads me back to bread.
See I told you, we’d get there.
After another hard week of not having answers to a myriad of things, I finally picked up my bread books and hunkered down to get curious and take my place as a student to life… and I learned how to make my first loaf of bread.
Was it good?
Yeah.
Could it improve?
Oh, yeah.
But what caught me a little off guard was how the experience of making it was similar to when I learned how to crochet.
It had a rhythm to it.
When the day got heavy, I could knead it out on my floured countertop.
Each step had me anticipating and celebrating in joy when in fact my dough did double.
My best friend checked in throughout the day asking for my bread status.
This little loaf of dough brought a momentum and wonder back to my day that frankly, I needed.
And, thankfully, the loaf was a success.
Mikey and Addie raved about it and we brainstormed all night about the French Toast and Croutons we were going to make the next day.
Did this loaf cost me way more (especially starting out) than the bargain loaves at the grocery store?
Oh yeah.
Did this loaf cost me way more time than throwing a loaf from the freezer into a preheated oven?
Goodness yes.
But I am not sure the bread was ever the point.
The slowing down was.
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