The other day I stared at the mantle and squinted as I looked at this picture as if adjusting my vision would help me remember this time.
When did it happen?
Long 24 hour days full of endless 60 minute hours lost forever… to four short years.
Why can’t I remember it?
I feel as if I tried to touch this photo and all the memories locked inside, my hand would only find a hologram almost as if this image is a figment of my imagination.
How did everything change?
I vaguely recall piles of endless diapers and the bondage of diaper bags, strollers and miscellaneous gear– yet there is no trace of all that now… it as if the bicycles, puzzles and My Little Ponies have always been here.
What have I forgotten?
I can come to terms with everything except memories lost… I guess.
I have bits of video tape and a myriad of photographs– thank heavens! But as strange as it sounds, sometimes I feel as if I am an observer looking back for the most part.
How is that? I am the mom? This is/was my life?
Forgive my nostalgia…
I am sure it is rooted in the fact that my baby starts preschool next week…
And my mind is spinning around worrying that four years from now I will be asking the same questions…
Will I remember her curiosity and absolute dedication to wonder and excitement in everything?
Will I remember her sweet, unyielding kindness to others?
Or her infectious attitude and equally contagious uncontrollable laughter.
Can I hold onto all those early morning snugs, I Love You Mommies and her eagerness to bake cookies with her mama any chance she can?
Gosh, I hope so.
About Cris
I am the mama behind GOODEness Gracious and the owner of Cris Goode Solutions.Here at GOODEness Gracious, we like to keep it light and fun as we cook up family meals, share our super mommy secrets and chat it up about the GOODe life:)So come on in and sit a spell.
Tina G says
September 3, 2011 at 6:33 amWe keep a family journal. It’s just a decorated 3 inch 3 ring binder, full of notebook paper, that has dividers for each year. I wrote down everything I could when our children were little and now for our grandchildren. I kept newspaper articles that my children were in, drawings they did, and the kids even wrote in it with whatever was on their mind that day. It’s full of memories…some that we would have forgotten if not for the journal.
Lana says
September 3, 2011 at 11:14 amMine still want to snuggle at almost 7 & 9, and they still like to bake cookies, so I think you are good for a while longer. I’ll update you as needed. I can relate, though, to those foggy, dim memories of diaper bags and baby gear.
Dusty Dawson says
September 3, 2011 at 1:08 pmOur babes are 8 & 10. And the things they do and say amaze me everyday. Kids to me are like a fine wine they only get better the older they get. They still run up and hug me, want tucked in at night and love to cuddle. They just have a little more independance thrown in! Have a wonderful holiday weekend!
Nancy~The Wife of a Dairyman says
September 3, 2011 at 3:34 pmOh, they grow too fast, don’t they?! A great reminder to live in the moment for sure:)
Jent says
September 3, 2011 at 5:35 pmI so know how you feel, I just try to enjoy every minute and while I miss my littles and I am amazed at all the fun we do have and all the new experiences we are having as they get older that we couldn’t have done when they were little!
HUGS