While at Blissdom this year I had the awesome opportunity to hear Brene Brown speak.
Truth be told, when I saw that a researcher was the keynote, I really didn’t get how that was going to translate to my blog (Sorry Brene).
But, that would be because I have been living under a rock and had never heard of her or TED.com (Where have I been?) where she totally rocked it.
It turns out, Brene’s talk was the highlight of my Blissdom experience.
I promise the video below is worth the time investment.
Not to tell ya what to do or anything, but STOP.
Watch it now.
I’ll wait.
You didn’t just scroll past did ya? Just checking…
While this wasn’t the same talk we lovely Blissdom ladies received, it had a lot of the same messages.
God used this talk and the excepting, loving environment at Blissdom to work on me. Big Time.
The idea of embracing vulnerability and owning imperfection clicked with me… like a puzzle piece finally popping into place after 15 years of desperately turning it around and around…
Prior to Blissdom I had been thinking a lot about how I had been hurt before and God kept reminding me that I will never find perfect people or perfect situations… so much so that His Word is full of all these imperfect souls… even the biblical rock stars had some pretty major flaws…just sayin’
That, and Lord knows I am not perfect myself…
So, when I heard Brene speak, in such an environment that practically screamed “be yourself and we’ll protect you”, I began to venture out of my shell and discovered an old friend along the way– the gal God made to be me.
Suddenly a peace that I have craved for literally years washed over me, as I began to unfold what I had been holding deep inside for years: fear of rejection, bullies, spiritual condescension, religious persecution, hurt, pain, etc.
I had searched for it for years and found all painful things I was trying to avoid waiting for me in its place.
So, instead I had miserably and desperately tried to lock the world and in many ways God (and most definitely the church) out in an effort to protect myself from the next heartbreak.
The problem is, He didn’t make me that way… and I have felt it for a long time… something wasn’t right.
All last week when I got a little down time, I would call Puddie and tell him about things were finally shifting into place. If anyone knew the degree of my struggles, it was him– the one person who has seen the real me all these years and watched me stumble through social settings and struggle with fellowship.
So now things are different. And, while I still have tons of questions, I have so much I want to share and discover through this awesome medium called blogging–a medium that God has so graciously used to help me find myself again–not to mention the amazing community I have found in you.
And, while you dear reader have allowed me a few very drawn out posts dancing around these subjects while I have figured all this out, we both know these kind of topics aren’t at the heart of what GOODEness Gracious is all about.
So, from here on out GG will return to food, fun, freezer cooking, photos and tons of Super Mommy Secrets, while I will also take on a second blog– Unfolding Wallflower— to grapple with the spiritual and social changes in my life.
And, if I haven’t told ya’all lately– I love ya.
Thank you for coming here everyday.
There are so many places to visit on the internet and I am blessed to have you take the time to visit my little online home.
About Cris
I am the mama behind GOODEness Gracious and the owner of Cris Goode Solutions. Here at GOODEness Gracious, we like to keep it light and fun as we cook up family meals, share our super mommy secrets and chat it up about the GOODe life:) So come on in and sit a spell.
Jenna says
what sweet words, and it takes a lot to put these words out there. *HUG*
Patty Ann says
This was a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing an amazing message!
Valerie says
Thanks for sharing your experiences. A lot of what you have shared has resonated with me as well.
Tina says
What an awesome post! I've been doing a lot of the same lately too. A great book to read "Same Life, New Story: Change Your Perspective to Change Your Life" by Jan Silvious. Excellent book!
I'm looking forward to reading your new blog. Hopping over there now!
Katie @ On the Banks of Squaw Creek says
The little religion tidbit at the end hit me hard. I've been struggling with my faith, but through this struggle, I've learned that those who have a strong, unwavering faith, seem to get through harder times more easily, and are generally happier. That's what I love about Mormon blogs. weird, huh?
The vulnerability part doesn't speak to me as much, but this whole thing is making me think maybe I should start a more private blog to explore religion, and invite some of my close bloggy friends to read it.
There, I said the vulnerability part doesn't speak to me, yet I don't want my struggle with faith to be completely public. Maybe I should watch the video again.
Oh geesh. Then, I just watched the part about perfecting our children. Now, I'm feeling "shame." (Now you're getting a play-by-play as I pause, type, watch, pause, type.)
One last reaction: I am a "green" according to the Real Colors test. Greens are always trying to make things better. Always. And that includes bettering myself. I just can't get the idea that "I'm enough" through my head.
I'm very comfortable in social situations, and don't have any problem sharing personal things about myself with near strangers or people I've newly met. In fact, for me it's easier to share things with those people than it would be to share them with my mom, or my in-laws, etc.
But, I don't feel like "I'm enough." I feel like I could be a better parent, and a better housekeeper, and a better wife, and a better farm manager. And a better teacher, although thank God, that one's not my main focus like it was the last 3 years.
I'm afraid that if I say "I'm enough" then I will be a lazy bum. And I truly feel most worthy when I am most productive. And I want that productivity to show in a clean, organized house and smart kid (there, I said it) and I want to be verbally appreciated and thanked for that productivity, too.
Man-oh-man. I better go start my new blog. And I better use this "comment" as my first post, don't you think?
Alli Worthington says
So thrilled for you.
What an honor to get to read your words.
Thank you so much for sharing and for being AWESOME.
Yes, it's OK to be you. We will protect you.
(Alli flashes BlissDom gang sign)
Ok there's no gang sign but it would be funny if there was one.
<3
Lindsey @ A New Life says
Cris, I don't believe we actually met but now that I've read this I can't wait to see what unfolds in your heart as you move forward! I'll be keeping up with you for sure!!
So proud of you for being willing to take the big scary step of just being real and embracing who God made you to be– truly beautiful!!
Lindsey @ A New Life
living-the-balanced-life says
Oh Cris, you and I should've talked even more while we were there, we evidentally were thinking a long the same lines! I am so glad that things have finally become clear to you! I am finding that even though I know that I am *enough* I have to remind myself several times a day!
We can remind each other!
Bernice
Mandy says
So excited to see where you go from here, Lady! You are a beauty, inside and out! God made you who you are, and I love that you are ready to embrace that person!! Big hugs!
Just this... Alice says
What a beautiful spirit you have. We all love you just because you're you. I'm signing up for unfolding wallflower. Loved your message today. May God bless you to unfold into the most beautiful and precious flower he intended you to be. We all eventually learn to bloom where we're planted and that't not always an easy thing accomplishment.
Craig says
The new design, crisp, easy to navigate – really nice.
I had never heard of Ted.com either – so I join you in the clueless club:) And yes, I did scroll past it – you are so smart! And I look forward to reading the other blog – you know I’m not a foodie – but I read you anyway – well now I get to comment way more.
Take it from a guy with two blogs though – one is hard – two is murder – just sayin' 🙂
(Happy)
God Bless and Keep You
and Yours
Whitney @ Life's a Highway says
I'm so proud of (and happy for) you 🙂 (and you too, Katie!)
Craig says
The new design, crisp, easy to navigate – really nice.
I had never heard of Ted.com either – so I join you in the clueless club:) And yes, I did scroll past it – you are so smart! And I look forward to reading the other blog – you know I’m not a foodie – but I read you anyway – well now I get to comment way more.
Take it from a guy with two blogs though – one is hard – two is murder – just sayin' 🙂
(Happy)
God Bless and Keep You
and Yours
Mandy says
So excited to see where you go from here, Lady! You are a beauty, inside and out! God made you who you are, and I love that you are ready to embrace that person!! Big hugs!
Katie @ On the Banks of Squaw says
The little religion tidbit at the end hit me hard. I've been struggling with my faith, but through this struggle, I've learned that those who have a strong, unwavering faith, seem to get through harder times more easily, and are generally happier. That's what I love about Mormon blogs. weird, huh?
The vulnerability part doesn't speak to me as much, but this whole thing is making me think maybe I should start a more private blog to explore religion, and invite some of my close bloggy friends to read it.
There, I said the vulnerability part doesn't speak to me, yet I don't want my struggle with faith to be completely public. Maybe I should watch the video again.
Oh geesh. Then, I just watched the part about perfecting our children. Now, I'm feeling "shame." (Now you're getting a play-by-play as I pause, type, watch, pause, type.)
One last reaction: I am a "green" according to the Real Colors test. Greens are always trying to make things better. Always. And that includes bettering myself. I just can't get the idea that "I'm enough" through my head.
I'm very comfortable in social situations, and don't have any problem sharing personal things about myself with near strangers or people I've newly met. In fact, for me it's easier to share things with those people than it would be to share them with my mom, or my in-laws, etc.
But, I don't feel like "I'm enough." I feel like I could be a better parent, and a better housekeeper, and a better wife, and a better farm manager. And a better teacher, although thank God, that one's not my main focus like it was the last 3 years.
I'm afraid that if I say "I'm enough" then I will be a lazy bum. And I truly feel most worthy when I am most productive. And I want that productivity to show in a clean, organized house and smart kid (there, I said it) and I want to be verbally appreciated and thanked for that productivity, too.
Man-oh-man. I better go start my new blog. And I better use this "comment" as my first post, don't you think?