There’s a Cupcake in Mommy’s Purse

Dear Reader-

I have wrote this post in my head 100 times… and deleted it before writing it every time.

It isn’t that I have anything profound to say, it is just that I want to share some changes that are going on with me, but I am not really sure what I want to say.

Weighty Issue

I guess the best way is to just explain how I got to this point…

Ever since I can remember, my weight has been a part of my thoughts… actually that isn’t true… it was about age 13 that my weight was pointed out to me by an adult and it was at that time it sealed to my value in some mixed up/screwed up way.

Via

The funny part is… I wasn’t even overweight at the time… but I was totally convinced otherwise and would be for years… until my outside appearances actually caught up with the inside thoughts around college time and I found myself overweight and well on my way to obese.

Since that time I have been up and down and at times great big around ;).

Value That Matters

It took me a long time to learn that my value had nothing to do with my weight and that my value comes from God, not other people… and thank God for that.

Via

That my weight issues were health issues… not worth issues. And, regardless what society says, an overweight person is just as valuable, can work just as hard and be just as good of a person as the skinny person next to them (that just isn’t wearing their issues on the outside).

The Rest of the Story

But, in the meantime, I picked up several bad habits… namely emotional eating, eating when stressed/out of balance and mindless eating.

Several years ago (before Miss Add) I learned about how my thoughts really set me up for success or failure in this department and many others when I read Lou Tice’s Smart Talk For Achieving Your Potential.

And, the weight came tumbling off… in ways almost effortlessly. Now, mind you, I wasn’t thin by any means… but I was a way- healthier version of myself.

Then came baby and after baby, it worked again and helped me maintain things for three years after…

Then a rough winter and tragedy rocked my world last year… and the recovery, well… it ain’t been pretty.

And, the weight has not only inched up, it has overwhelmed me.

For the better part of a year I have been dormant and eating to comfort myself, rather than to nurture myself.

And any effort to “change” has been half-hearted at best.

Truth be told, Puddie has been making healthy changes for quite some time, but this stubborn old mule has been a bit slower to the take.

I had been toying with a new challenge my blissdom bud Bernice came up with, but had fallen off that wagon during the second week- letting stress and my work schedule consume me.

Reality Hits

Then, something embarrassing and scary happened all in one week.

Scary: I had been walking at a moderate pace in the evenings and found at night I could literally hardly move. The old saying “If you don’t use it, you lose it” had become reality to me…

I realized that at 33 I was risking my very mobility if I didn’t get myself out of this funk.

Embarrassing: After an event one day, Miss Add and I went to the doctor for a foot issue I was having dating back to a shoe fashion injury from Blissdom and they made me get on the scale… GASP… I hadn’t weighed that much since I had been pregnant…

Oh and with perfect timing, Miss Add pipes up and says “Doctor, did you know Mommy has cupcakes in her purse.” (Note: I do not keep cupcakes in my purse normally, they were in there from the event in which a food truck was selling cupcakes… that’s my story and I am sticking to it!).

So, there ya have it… embarrassed and with a real sense of “what the heck am I doing to myself” I am finally “awake” again and on a mission to change things.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

I contacted a friend who is a dietitian and asked for some guidance, joined LoseIt.com (more on that coming soon) and got to movin‘… every night in some form or fashion.

I have also been tweaking some of our tried and true recipes– lightening them up without sacrificing flavor (more on that coming soon) and got to reading Mindless Eating: Why We Eat More Than We Think per my friend’s recommendation.

Getting Real

I also let up on myself.

Exercise can look different for a busy mom. I love to take the time to myself when I can, but when I can’t– I have to stop using that as an excuse.

I don’t have to buy the most expensive ( insert qualifier here) veggies, meat and dairy to eat “real” food and fix healthy food for my family. So I have been focusing on nutrition labels– not marketing labels.

So far, so good… I am 6 lbs down so far, completely mobile again and feeling good.  I am learning a lot about how to change little-doable things that make a big impact (more on that … you guessed it- coming soon).

I am setting an example for Add that I feel good about– both with diet and with activity… not to mention enjoying my extra focused time with her on our walks 😉

Oh and if you are wondering… my purse has been cupcake-free.

So, there ya have it… a whole lotta change going on, yet getting back to my old self and it is a very GOODe thing 😉

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