I used to have a long list of pet peeves.
Wikipedia says
A pet peeve or pet hate is a minor annoyance that an individual identifies as particularly annoying to himself, to a greater degree than others may find it.
Now if you asked me, my pet peeves were completely righteous in their insistence that those around me be respectful of the rest of us by adhering to my list of demands.
Ahh because that was the biggest one of all… RESPECT.
A disrespectful person always made the top of my pet peeves list. Disrespectful to me or to someone else, it didn’t matter… that person needed to know how much I (almighty) disapproved of them and how wrong they were to treat the rest of us so poorly. Ultimately, all my pet peeves came down to respect– whether it be “be on time” or “don’t talk loudly on the phone next to me” or “don’t be a judgey mc judgerson”.
My heart’s cry was respect me and respect others.
I wasn’t asking a whole lot.
Merriam Webster defines respect as:
: a feeling of admiring someone or something that is good, valuable, important, etc.
: a feeling or understanding that someone or something is important, serious, etc., and should be treated in an appropriate way
: a particular way of thinking about or looking at something
I mean how hard was it to ask those who I encountered in life that I “be treated in an appropriate way”.
The problem
As I have grown in my faith, I have begun to feel my focus on respect is really misplaced. Mainly because my focus on my pet peeves it puts my desires for respect ahead of the living breathing human being right in front of me.
Mr. Rude Dude might have my feathers all ruffled at how he treated me (or someone I love), but that doesn’t change the fact that I am called to love him. Grace… not respect should be my focus. Respect focuses on me and my importance (even my demands that someone else be respected are a focus on what I deem appropriate) while grace focuses on extending love to another. My indignation will rarely get me anywhere anyhow… besides atop my lofty high horse named Pride (who happens to have quite a hard fall when she bucks me off).
No, if I truly want to reach Mr. Rude Dude, grace (and my respecting him even if he doesn’t respect me or others) will be the only way, if there is a way.
Because truth be told, I have no idea what is going on in Mr. Rude Dude’s life. And, I might be the only person to show him any form of love or grace that day.
The sign
So now, I try (and fail– oh so many times) to see my pet peeve radar as an indicator… an indicator to love that person. Pet peeves as a call for grace?!? That my friends is not an easy thing to do.
But as Daddy always said, “If it was easy, anyone could do it.”
About Cris
I am the mama behind GOODEness Gracious and the owner of Cris Goode Solutions. Here at GOODEness Gracious, we like to keep it light and fun as we cook up family meals, share our super mommy secrets and chat it up about the GOODe life:) So come on in and sit a spell.
