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Home » Goode Life » Loss.

Loss.

November 15, 2010 By Cris 14 Comments

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Today has been an emotional day.

Today my family attended the funeral of a beloved uncle, brother-in-law, father, grandfather, veteran and all around good man who will be greatly missed.

All of you know the emotions and feelings tied to days like this, so I am just going to leave it at that and discuss a much different loss–that while it pales in comparison to the loss in my family, it still has had an impact–one that honestly caught me by surprise.

While I was chillin’ out with my bloggy buddies on Saturday for our uber-FREEZE-O-RAMA (more on that on Tuesday), Facebook let me know that my home town (the one I was headed towards that night for the funeral) had caught fire.

Until I got down there, that was pretty much all I knew.

Not really sure what a “town on fire” meant, I really didn’t know what I thought beyond “Man, that is awful.”

(Photo from fox41.com)

Around midnight that night I ended up driving next to the rubble as my family was making its way to my childhood home.

I was in awe.

I was sad.

I was flooded with memories.

I have been melancholy ever since.

I realize to many, it is just a building–historical at that– but a building none-the-less.

I get it.

Truth be told, if it were another corner or part of town, it would make me sad– never liking to see that kind of loss– but I don’t think it would have bothered me this way.

Ya see, that building has so many childhood memories tied to it for me.

It was the location of:

My first job–shredding documents for the then Orange County Bank.

The buyer of all my 4-H sheep.

My youth minister’s apartment where we played many a hand of euchre.

The basement where my mom assembled the Orange County Bank’s 100th Anniversary Cake that was so huge it took a flat-bed truck to transport.

Many, many family and friends’ bridal and baby showers.

An old fashion bottle coke machine that my aunt would take me to for a treat.

The break room where this country girl without cable first saw/watched CMT.

Many a Indian Summer Festival parade floats.

A bubble gum machine that took many a dimes from me as a kid in exchange for a handful of chiclets.

A town square that I made many a loops around as a kid in my little Chevy Celebrity and now a familiar site that signals I am almost “home”.

The buyers of tons of my girl scout cookies.

The steps where I posed with my aunt one Halloween. She was a witch. I was a clown.

I could go on and on. 
From the mundane to the poignant, it is very strange to see rubble where that building once stood–not to mention flames.
I’m not sure I am conveying how I feel really. 
I just know that when I was coming back east and got to the stoplight on that corner, I felt lost. 
It had changed so much so fast.
I wasn’t sure how to go home. 
Perhaps it was just a very physical visual of loss that struck me in this time of loss for those dear to me. 
Perhaps it is a reminder of how quickly things can change… 
How loss can happen… 
How important it is to take the time to treasure memories and the people and the places we hold dear.

Photobucket

About Cris
I am the mama behind GOODEness Gracious and the owner of Cris Goode Solutions. Here at GOODEness Gracious, we like to keep it light and fun as we cook up family meals, share our super mommy secrets and chat it up about the GOODe life:) So come on in and sit a spell.

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Comments

  1. Hoosier Farm Babe says

    November 15, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    Aww thats terrible Cris! Do they know how the fire started? I hope you have some photos to remember all of your great memories there!

    Reply
  2. Just this... Alice says

    November 15, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    I am sorry for your towns loss. You and your hometown are in my thoughts and prayers. I can relate to how you feel. One night comming home from an event in the next town over, we saw so much smoke and had to go through a detour to get to our home. A whole block was on fire. So much history lost that night. We still feel the loss every time we pass the vacant lots where those historic buildings once stood. Time heals all wounds but the ache in the heart seems to linger. Amidst the tragedy may there be hope for a better tomorrow.

    Reply
  3. Life Happens says

    November 15, 2010 at 1:55 pm

    I'm sorry for your family loss as well as your towns. Sounds like you have tons of memories in your hometown. Prayers are with you and your family.

    Reply
  4. Leslie says

    November 15, 2010 at 2:18 pm

    I am sorry for your loss. What a shame about the fire.
    hope you have a good monday

    Reply
  5. Gooseberry Patch says

    November 15, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    So glad you have your blog so you can capture these memories and share them with us. Thinkin' about you. 🙂

    Reply
  6. lou says

    November 15, 2010 at 3:18 pm

    Uncle Carl's face just keeps popping into my head with that smile he would give me out of one side of his mouth…and that look in his eye that let you know he was up to something. I don't know…just doesn't seem real. It should, but it doesn't.

    I remember LOVING the book-keeping department at the bank. As a child, I always hoped we would go there when we would go to the bank…there was so much laughter and fun and we got to go BEHIND the counter, so I thought it was awesome. I saw a picture where there were flames shooting out of that back window. ugh. I was also mesmerized by the vault. It was like something you saw in movies, and I had always wanted to go in there. I remember when I worked there…the first time I went in the vault, it was the fulfillment of my childhood dream…I was seriously as excited as a child. And what I found out after working there is that there was a huge sturdy safe inside the vault that was from when the bank first open. You know how much a love antiques and their history…it was a treat to see. Amidst all the rubble, the vault is still standing…it is basically all that is still standing from what I can tell.

    So much loss…such a wonderful man and a place full of memories…memory lane is a painful place right now. I look forward to the day when I can think of Uncle Carl and OCB building and not fight back a flood of tears.

    Reply
  7. sara says

    November 15, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    I am so sorry for your losses. Thinking of you.

    xoxox

    Reply
  8. Cranberry Morning says

    November 15, 2010 at 3:41 pm

    I am sorry to hear about your uncle. What a short time we are on this earth, and how many lives we impact.

    It is hard to drive past a spot where a much-loved, memory-making building used to stand and now is completely erased from the landscape. Except for a few old photos and an oral history, no one would know it ever existed. 🙁

    Reply
  9. Terra says

    November 15, 2010 at 10:18 pm

    So VERY well said, Cris. I've been past there twice now & my heart breaks a little each time I go past. I have many of the same memories you talked about as Mom worked there for a large part of my childhood. I was just telling Toby the other night that I still remember the smell in the building, that cool feeling of being somewhere "regular" people didn't get to go when I got to go down into bookkeeping or behind a counter with mom, and, like your sis, I remember the 1st time I was allowed to go in the vault – it was uber cool!

    I'm so glad that no one was physically hurt, but I think the emotional hurt will last long after the rubble has been cleared.

    Reply
  10. Lana says

    November 16, 2010 at 12:54 am

    One great big hug from me to you! Some people are irreplaceable, and your uncle sounds like he is on that list. So sorry to hear about the loss of bricks and mortar. That is all many people see, but I think buildings have a life of their own, especially the ones that have housed such an abundance of life! Cherish your memories of both the man and the building; they will be forever in your heart.

    Reply
  11. Terra says

    March 6, 2011 at 6:26 am

    So VERY well said, Cris. I've been past there twice now & my heart breaks a little each time I go past. I have many of the same memories you talked about as Mom worked there for a large part of my childhood. I was just telling Toby the other night that I still remember the smell in the building, that cool feeling of being somewhere "regular" people didn't get to go when I got to go down into bookkeeping or behind a counter with mom, and, like your sis, I remember the 1st time I was allowed to go in the vault – it was uber cool!

    I'm so glad that no one was physically hurt, but I think the emotional hurt will last long after the rubble has been cleared.

    Reply
  12. lou says

    March 6, 2011 at 6:26 am

    Uncle Carl's face just keeps popping into my head with that smile he would give me out of one side of his mouth…and that look in his eye that let you know he was up to something. I don't know…just doesn't seem real. It should, but it doesn't.

    I remember LOVING the book-keeping department at the bank. As a child, I always hoped we would go there when we would go to the bank…there was so much laughter and fun and we got to go BEHIND the counter, so I thought it was awesome. I saw a picture where there were flames shooting out of that back window. ugh. I was also mesmerized by the vault. It was like something you saw in movies, and I had always wanted to go in there. I remember when I worked there…the first time I went in the vault, it was the fulfillment of my childhood dream…I was seriously as excited as a child. And what I found out after working there is that there was a huge sturdy safe inside the vault that was from when the bank first open. You know how much a love antiques and their history…it was a treat to see. Amidst all the rubble, the vault is still standing…it is basically all that is still standing from what I can tell.

    So much loss…such a wonderful man and a place full of memories…memory lane is a painful place right now. I look forward to the day when I can think of Uncle Carl and OCB building and not fight back a flood of tears.

    Reply
  13. Gooseberry Patch says

    March 6, 2011 at 6:26 am

    So glad you have your blog so you can capture these memories and share them with us. Thinkin' about you. 🙂

    Reply
  14. Leslie says

    March 6, 2011 at 6:26 am

    I am sorry for your loss. What a shame about the fire.
    hope you have a good monday

    Reply

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