Life Lessons From a Tibia

Dear Reader-

After ten very long weeks… we now have FREEDOM from the cast!

In many ways I can’t believe we are on the other side of this thing that seemed so huge just a few weeks ago.

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She spent 6 weeks in the above the knee cast…

And 4 weeks in a below the knee cast…

Weeks that included already planned activities like…

Field Trips…

Disney…

And Preschool Graduation…

Not to mention a boat load of life lessons…

Joy comes from your heart, not your situation.

When I first learned of the severity of the injury, I cringed because we were leaving for Disney the next week…

The pool slide she had been checking out online, the roller coaster she cheered about when she found out she was tall enough to ride…

I cringed because we were just starting swim, sprinkler, fishing and water balloon season.

How on earth was my girl going to take the constant disappointment the summer held for her?

How did she handle it?

By not being disappointed. AT. ALL.

Truth be told that kid can teach me a thing or two… not once did I hear her complain about the heat, not getting to play in the water or anything she “couldn’t do”. She constantly focused on what she could do… and did so with a cheerful heart.

Did I mention in those 10 weeks she also attended two kiddie pool parties?!?

Well-meaning people say stupid things.

Wherever we went people naturally wanted to know what happened.

At first, Miss Add entertained questions eagerly… but soon I started to notice something completely uncharacteristic of my little social butterfly who would bend over backwards to have a conversation with just about anyone.

As a multitude of people from the store to the happiest place on earth would tell her what a “poor baby” she was or how her “summer was over”– Add started tuning people out– big time.

I told Puddie early on I worried all the well-meaning but negative talk would break her spirit… it was that prevalent.

But by the grace of God she somehow knew when to tune out those things that weren’t beneficial to her.

She wanted to be noticed for who she was not what was “wrong” with her.

Add so wanted people to talk to her about something other than her leg and would try to change the subject when people she met focused on it.

That desire proved to be a tool to teach Add about how everyone is different in one way or another and that she should treat people with disabilities– temporary or permanent– just like everyone else.

While at Disney, Add saw a little girl in line to see Rapunzel who had some burns on her head. Add pointed out the difference to me… to which I asked about her leg and if she liked it when people pointed out how she was different rather than just saying hello.

Point was taken and when we later saw someone in a wheel chair, Add skipped right over all the differences and exuberantly said hello, just like she would to anyone else.

There is always a trade-off, it is up to you what to focus on.

When people would hear that we were going to Disney, they would always say “Well at least you get to go to the front of the line!” and while we found that to be true part of the time, there were trade-offs.

Of course there was no pool use at the resort we booked mainly because of the awesome pool. Then there were no coasters of course. A lot of shows, parades, etc. left us where she couldn’t see despite Disney’s efforts– but due to crowds and rude people, she sometimes wouldn’t get the same experience. Oh and many a dirty look be had when we were taken to the front of the line or when were made to make other people move– who were lounging in the accessible lane –so we could get through.

But Disney was amazing. We had the time of our life and I can’t think of a better place to teach us that we could tackle anything. We had an experience there that few get to enjoy. She had special moments with the Characters and Cast Members that she would have never had otherwise.

There is always a trade-off, it is up to you what to focus on.

People will judge you.

Eleanor Roosevelt said it best “Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you’ll be criticized anyways.”

When we would encounter people who learned what happened to Miss Add, they would have one of two reactions.

1. Get back in that saddle.

OR

2. The horror on their face would say “What on earth was four year old doing on such a massive animal to start with…”

Anyone who knows me knows how much I attribute my life’s successes and world view to growing up on the farm.

That is why I am eager for Add to experience as much of that life a trip to Papaw’s can afford her. From the work ethic involved to the wonderment of God’s creation to  recognizing that the world isn’t just about her to the responsibility and respect involved in taking care of animals many times her size to –yes, even– the unpredictability of those animals and therefore life.

Add has always loved animals. She plays with her stuffed animals and animal figures wayyy more than any doll.

So, yes, I allowed (and will continue to allow) my child to ride a horse with her Papaw… and feed that horse, and care for that horse and all the life lessons that come with it.

And if the lady at the check out counter wants to judge me as a parent, so be it.

I will take any opportunity to connect Add to the rural values that have served me so well all these years.

Goals provide much needed focus from the distraction of disappointment.

Whenever Add would come up against something that she wasn’t allowed to do in the cast– be it coasters or water, she would remind us when the cast came off that she was going to do X,Y,Z.

She knew her goal: HEAL.

And she made it her business to drink her milk and eat her cheese.

But she also didn’t waste her energy on the disappointment of what she couldn’t do.

She focused on what should could do and what she would do.

And success…

It is pretty sweet my friends.

It has been a long haul folks, I would have never chosen to go through this… but will cherish the memories and lessons this season of life has offered us.